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Last updated: 03/04/2017

Boys: Male Development, Sex and Gender

Focus on Quality, Together, Future

Welcome to my website

Photo Sjaak Ramakers 2016

This site is intended to share my experience, my knowledge and my insights, but also to explain how my skills in various fields might assist you in your work.
When raising boys whether through Early Child Care & Tuition, Education, Youth Social Work or Driver’s Ed, it’s all about sensitivity for and dealing with differences in sex and gender. Clicking on the images below will lead you to these different domains. Further below, you’ll find my vision and expertise. Further information can be found on the horizontal menu above.

My View

Constructive working with boys, when done properly, boils down to a few things:

  • Understanding their more specific developmental tasks (both from a biological perspective and their at times one-sided socialization),
  • Offering them the prerequisites in which they can flourish
  • Freeing them from negative or even destructive messages and role models;
  • Countering their dilemmas and problems through alternative solutions that are rewarding, positive and productive; giving them the feedback they need, setting limits and
  • Doing justice to both boys and girls, men and women, whether in families, communities, schools, driver education, or anywhere else within society.Nature or Nurture? Good nurture asks for insight in nature in all its diversity, limits and plasticity. No boy is the same, no girl is the same. They all have their own background and biography. The perspective I offer is called ‘Boys-in-Balance’ in their social environment: paying attention to their qualities as well as their issues and their risky (and sometimes destructive) behavioral patterns. Their nature, their talents, their sometimes irregular, often slower maturation. Boys between bravado and timidity. Helping them to find solutions for their dilemmas and to develop the skills required to be successful in a rapidly changing society. There’s little sense in creating problems where they don’t exist, but many boys and (young) men can do more and better than they do now; just as girls can (and do) develop those qualities that boys deploy easier.
    Relations between men and women have changed, and need to change. Labour and labour relations change; technological developments and workforce requirements demand different qualities from (young) men: cooperation, planning, empathy, sharing, responsibilities. However, this new situation offers new opportunities as well. Sharing the burden and satisfaction of earning an income, of caring and of education with women will eventually propel men to lead more balanced lives.
    Many boys drop out or don’t reach their maximal potential. Society needs them. ‘Use them or lose them’ – if you lose them, they may turn their energy against themselves, against girls, women, gay people, dissenters, or against society as a whole. This has to change, and it can change. In families, schools, neighborhoods, labour and elsewhere.

It makes sense for educators to address their specific qualities (e.g. trial-and-error). Take the developmental tasks of boys and their different pace into account and stimulate them where it matters. Some skills they will develop at an early stage (visual, spatial, gross motor skills), in other aspects they can be late bloomers (language, empathy, planning, social skills, fine motor skills such as writing). Acknowledging this, you can enjoy their progress and explore their perspectives together. As you can see, my special attention goes to the specific development of boys in comparison with girls, to their role, position and perspectives – without exaggerating the differences. Every child, every teenager is different. Education always goes hand in hand with discovery.


With a great deal of enjoyment and by trial and error I have built up 35 years of experience in advice, publications, research, training and coaching on working with (young) men in many fields. This website offers a comprehensive view of my work through my cv, my portfolio, various texts, tips and backgrounds, as well as literature and links for further exploration.

This website offers some orientation to those who are interested in the development of boys and young men from either a personal or a professional viewpoint, or as a part of a media outlet. It contains study material for both professionals and students. Items in the top bar lead to a general introductory page; more about my views, different fields and specific portfolios (you can also click on the pictures with pertaining to a specific field), my cv, literature and contact info. In the links to the various fields you’ll find an introductory page and – where available – more subpages.

In the past years I have written several books and articles on the subject. These publications can now be found together on this website; not static as a book, but layered, supported by a search engine, links and regular updates. This is all for free, without a claim of copyright unless mentioned in the leader of a text. It is here to share and to comment, preferably constructive. Please mention the source (www.laukwoltring.nl and the specific page) if used elsewhere.

Current affairs

US: White Ribbon Campaign, UK: White Ribbon Campaign  actions of men acting to end violence against gender-Based Violence



I am available for:

·         Lectures or workshops
·         Training
·         Brainstorm meetings (e.g. policies, new research)
·         Coaching
·         Media productions
·         Advice (organizations, new policies)


My Positions

·         Founder/member (Dutch) Platform ‘Boys in Balance’, Expertise Centre ‘Boy’s Talents’
·         Consultant for Rock and Water/Gadaku Institute
·         EU-Hermes project on Driver Education
·         EU expert group on Driver Education
·         Expert group Men & Masculinities/EU Institute on Gender Equality (Vilnius)
·         Active in World Forum for Early Child Education
·         European Platform for Men in Early Child Education and Care
·         (Dutch) platforms like Emancipator, Men Engage
·         Various Conferences, Advisory Groups


If you’d like to utilize my expertise in your work, to have me give a lecture or workshop or if you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll try to do whatever lies within my reach.

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